NOTE: This conversation runs backwards! For the benefit of regular readers the newest comments are put at the top.
I have had a sip from a large martini now, so my nerves have steadied. It is a pleasure to share such common interests with other girls, but I will be more circumspect in the future when seeking their advice. I am still quite young (23) and not very experienced in the feminine ways of the Aphrodite world. I do have other interests, such as creating patterns for the dying art of Cross-stitch.
My original conversation arose out of a wish to know how an Aphrodite lady can achieve a balance between revealing just enough of her lingerie to give a little pleasure to those around her and how much she should maintain her decorum by just hinting at her feminine delights beneath by the way she sits. I also seek the advice, respectfully, of other older and more experienced members of the Common Room whether an Aphrodite lady should wear a waistslip in preference to a full length petticoat?
I am so glad that Ariadne feels that although the colour of a slip is very much a personal choice it can also be a reflection of your feminine mood. I had not even thought of Paula's suggestion that choosing the right slip can be determined by the length of stockings rather than just the length of skirt.
Perhaps Paula could suggest which slip from her large collection would
be the best choice for me with black Pretty Polly Nylons and a knee-length
skirt. These are the closest modern sheer stockings, with the right silky
feel, that I can find to 1950s stockings. They are mid-thigh length with
a lacy patterned top. If Paula got to know me better perhaps she would
be willing to lend me one of her slips on a future trip into the Common
Room. I would also be grateful if any of the girls that live in London
could advice which is the best department store to buy suitable lingerie
and stockings? I hope that Ariadne feels that these are more modest questions
that stimulate the mood of the Common Room without lowering the standards
of decorum or embarrass her sensitive nature.
ANDREA
Yet I'm not quite sure Paula was addressing me
My comments' main intent was to provoke a lively response, and I hope
I am not too terribly immodest in assuming that they have done. I had a
good giggle over the whole thing, and I hope you can, too. Please do write
again. Your loving
ARIADNE
I love slips
I love in general Fifties style and fashion.
I would love tender, soft, warm conversations among us.
I myself often ponder and often times will try one of my many slips until it is perfect for the length of my stockings. The right length in combination with the skirt can often just raise the level of desire of those about me. I say let Adriene tell us about her problem and then we can help solve it. I may have just the perfect slip in my collection for her.
Keep up the good work, and as I sip on my afternoon tea, I'll look forward
to reading more about the fashions that I hold so dear.
Love,
PAULA
Far be it from me to advise another woman -- not my girlfriend -- about what she should wear! I am no fashion consultant. But for a girl I really know and like, were I learn to something of her spirit, her sense of humour, her little quirks, well, then, that's a slip of quite a different colour entirely, and I should be able to give her a reasonable opinion. Don't you other girls agree? (Where's Suzanne?)
So, Andrea, not knowing much about you, it is not without trepidation that I would most respectfully suggest you slither into the slip that feels the best under your skirt, the one that, without which, you would feel less than completely feminine. I should think that a slip corresponding in length to the skirt you will wear would be a valid starting-point. Colour is a matter of personal taste, of course.
Might you share with us some of your non-lingerie interests? The advert
for the Cocktail Bar promised "Five o'clock femmy chit-chat, clever conversation
[and] three-in-the-morning philosophy" I, for one, want to see some femmy
chit-chat and clever conversation, something more than soliloquies. So
come on, Andrea, order a drink and tell us some more! I'm a very shy girl
indeed, but I've been rather forthcoming, I think, in my conversations
in the Common Room, so if I can, so can you.
ARIADNE
I adore the delicious sensation of pulling my favourite full length, black, silk petticoat down over my panties, suspenders and nylons. The 2 inch hem of lace barely covers my stocking-tops as I sit at my dressing table removing my makeup. The thin black suspenders peep out through the lacy hem. As I stand to admire my feminine figure I feel the taut nylon sliding over the bottom of my full cut black frilly panties and the stocking tops disappear from view as I modestly pull the slip down. I can see the semi-lacey black bra through the filigree of swirling lace that sweeps over my soft breasts at the top of the slip.
Tomorrow I shall dress in my long navy coloured, button-down-the-front,
linen skirt. I love the feeling of a silky petticoat rippling over my legs
encased in ultra-sheer nylons, so I will wear a knee-length waist slip.
But I have a dilemma, which waist slip shall I choose? Should I slither
into my 26-inch length, navy blue nylon slip with a long lacy slit worn
at the front, just a hint of frothy blue lace peeks out to compliment the
slightly darker navy of the skirt? Depending on how many buttons I leave
undone, my glossy indigo coloured nylons can be seen underneath, perhaps
even the hint of a stocking top? Or should I be a real tease and slip into
my even longer 28 inch length, silky, cream, classic A-line petticoat that
comes to just below the knee? As I walk the front split of the skirt parts,
the 3 inch lacy hem and a triangle of silky cream slip are briefly revealed
to view and then hidden again. Whether I wear the cream or the navy blue
petticoat I shall, of course, slide into cream or navy blue matching lace
edged Charnos French knickers and suspender belt. The cream slip is very
thin so when I am dressing, the outline of my suspenders, the dark band
at the top of my Pretty Polly sheer indigo stockings and my French panties
can just be glimpsed beneath the silky material. This is an added pleasure.
Oh what a dilemma, perhaps readers could help me, which slip should I choose?
ANDREA
As an American, I live in what is possibly the most femme-negative nation in the world. There are certainly places where women suffer more, but nowhere are the imperatives to be mannish and to be extremely sexually permissive more intense. To make matters worse, I am a computer technician and must work in an environment that is simply saturated with maleness. It is a constant temptation to take the path of least resistance and just allow oneself to be absorbed by the ugliness.
Some years ago, I ran across a publication called Artemis. It was by and for women who love women, and (miracle of miracles!) it was absolutely pro-femme! I was delighted. I finally felt that I'd found some kind of identity. Sadly, I was never able to locate another issue, and the US just doesn't offer anything for the girl who longs for a truly girly way of life.
Imagine my joy when I found Femmeworld, and subsequently Aphrodite! My "Victoria" magazine feeds my love of herbs and flowers and lacey things, but what I was really missing was a woman-oriented forum that offers subtle erotica. I feared I was the only person in the world who craved elegant, demure images of pretty girls in pretty clothes rather than crass pornography.
I cannot thank you enough for this Web site, and I eagerly look forward
to my next visit! Fondly,
RACHEL
I want also say thank you to the ladies of Femmeworld for sending me
to this site.
CHARLENE
We are in complete agreement with you. It has never been our intention to promote a women-against-men attitude or to treat men as the enemy, and the whole of Aphrodite eroticism is founded on the belief that the unsubtle medical book approach is not erotically satisfying to men or women. However, we do suggest that the fallacy that it is satisfying is a male one. Few if any women seek out this kind of pornography. To say that men are the creators of this fashion is not to say that all men are responsible for it, or that many men do not suffer from its soul-impoverishing consequences just as much as we do. We are not really interested in blaming either men or women, and when we speak of an unbalance toward the masculine sensibility, this is not an attack on men. Bongo feminism, for example is a lurch toward masculinity on the part of women and is, as we have argued, the other side of the coin of reifying pornography. Both are founded on the annihilation of femininity (as opposed to femaleness), which is the underlying malaise of our times and which is a tragedy for both men and women We must all try to set this right. That is the purpose of Aphrodite.
But I am not absolutely certain we are in perfect accord. As I am shy and sensitive, there are quite a number of things I am not quite ready to share with the other girls until I know them a bit better, such as my predilections for what I wear next to my skin.
Your interior decor is so soothingly feminine (particularly in the choice
of colours) that I would wish to be a frequent visitor here should the
girls I meet prove even half as lovely. But I'm almost certain they'll
rival the decor.
ARIADNE
It is not in any way compulsory to share one's innermost secrets. I do not believe I ever have. One may well opine that complete concealment is in any case the most delightful way of all.
Another aspect of the pleasure of girdle-wearing and of tight-girdling, has to do with our "reading" of the stimulating experience. We read girdles as signifiers of our femininity. Since this mysterious experience of "femininity," this powerful sense of our difference from males, is central to our sexuality, everything that makes us feel feminine stimulates us. Wearing a girdle that is so tight that it doesn't let us forget that we have it on perpetually reminds us of our femininity. We can't escape it. We feel it every time we sit down, walk, or make any movement. The girdle is always there, reminding us of our femininity and enforcing and inspiring feminine comportment. This is, after all, the fundamental reason why all serious costumers and costume books are adamant about the need to put actresses in girdles for plays set between 1930 and 1968, in spite of the expense and extra work involved in fixing up the actresses with a garment that won't after all be seen. No woman can create a convincing visual impression of the femininity of this period unless she is wearing a girdle.
So, when we wear our girdles, we are being stimulated in a tactile way, and in an imaginative way ("feeling feminine"). They work together, I feel, to make us more erotically involved and erotically attractive to our men. Apart from the fact that he conceived an early attraction to women in girdles, my husband is stimulated by my acting feminine, different from him I'd assume. This is fundamental to the dynamic of girdle-flirting in our marriage. He is stimulated by this defining reminder of our difference.
Okay, finally the most difficult and complex aspect of the attraction of wearing a girdle, especially a tight girdle. I am not 100% comfortable about talking about this, but I am very grateful to you for directly raising the issue, since I think that if we are going to construct a serious analysis of what it means to wear a girdle, we have to confront the "masochism" issue. I want to say several things first. I know exactly, exactly what you mean by the "after-the-girdle" feeling. When I take my girdle off, I still sometimes feel the feminine effects of the constriction I accepted for the course of the day, and I feel that constriction, in a powerful way, because I have just been liberated from it. This powerfully intensifies my romantic relations with my husband. I suppose I must admit that I do enjoy the freely chosen constriction and, at times discomfort of a girdle. I enjoy it because of the way in which it intensifies my awareness of my femininity. I think of myself at such moments as proudly and even deliciously submitting to the constraints of womanhood.
I will not submit to any social or intellectual constraint and will
fight with every fiber of my being against them. But there is something
down there, in that dark mystery of femininity that enjoys a freely chosen
constraint and submission, symbolically and temporarily, to the greater
strength, mobility, and freedom of the male. As I've said to you, I love
the wonderfully exciting gender play he and I enjoy with each other. And
all wrapped up with this, in some unexplainable way, is the exciting sense
that I choose to accept the constriction of femininity, symbolized by the
wonderful contained experience of being always girdled and corseted. And
when I am really tightly girdled, the feeling of constraint allows so much
romantic energy to build up that I'm like an unbound tigress when I'm freed.
Now it's not pain that does this to me. When a girdle or corset is too
painful, the pain takes my mind off of my excitement, and can ruin the
experience. Pain is part of life, undoubtedly, but I get no pleasure from
pain itself.
I applaud your goal of a return to traditional feminism, and I don't mean that in some kind of conservative way - I'm about as liberal as they come. I wish there was something I could do to help but, as you point out, there's really nothing men can do. Like you, I think that there isn't enough eroticism in the world, and far too many people who think that graphic depictions of other people having sex qualifies as "erotic." While it may be exciting on a visceral level from time to time, it certainly lacks the subtle refinement of a truly erotic experience. I only wish there was a similar movement for men. Now that women (some of them, anyway) have realized that it's possible to be completely feminine without being second-class or weak, I wish men would realize that they can be strong, confident, and masculine without being overbearing, chauvinistic brutes.
I'm glad that our friends across the pond are continuing in their tradition of philosophical enlightenment! (I haven't heard anyone use the word "chary" since my British Lit. studies!).
Anyway, good show! Carry on.
D.L.
The only corset manufacturer we know in the U.S. is B.R. Creations of California. Does any one know the address?
I also find the firmness of a girdle and long line bra quite erotic
and also figure enhancing as middle age spread sets in.
L.
I miss England and the sense of womanhood that I felt from many of the women I met and saw. I enjoyed knowing that a woman would take as much trouble preparing for a quick trip to the market as she would for Sunday services.
I miss seeing women enjoying the public gardens, dressed in lovely summer dresses on a warm sunny day in Bury St. Edmunds. I miss sitting in the Wimpy Bar and watching the sensuous visions of womanhood that would pass by the front window as lunchtime in Newmarket unfolded. I was a part of life back then.... Never.... not before, not after my seven years in England, had I ever felt more a part of something. Thanks for the Aphrodite pages. Thanks for my seven years in your country.
I regret to say that it may be for the best that you left England when
you did. Much of what you remember is no longer. We recently had a visit
from an Italian-American priest who had been at Oxford in the 1970s. He
was quite horrified to see what had happened to the beloved city in the
relatively few intervening years. The University was no longer a haven
of learning and civilsation; the famous Oxford accent was hardly heard
any more, being replaced by a pseudo-proletarian drawl. He found it really
quite spooky to find people
I find this disturbing, and disappointing. Subtleness is a wonderful lure, to me at least. Thinking about what lies under the layers, is very stimulating. There is an anticipation when you see your girlfriend dressed seductively, yet wrapped in the folds of her clothing. You know what is physically underneath, but not being able to see it, your imagination fires and draws you towards her. You long to peel her out of her clothing, as you would unwrap a secret present on your birthday. The Trill and to the Romance.
When I dress for a girlfriend, I try to dress for her, yet I want to show others that she is with an attractive yet subtle woman.
Dressing with hints, allows me to show enough to entice her, while not give away too much.
I hope this makes sense. and I thank you for the chance to talk about this, and I hope other things.
I would like to thank the wonderful girls at Femmeworld who have directed
me here. Thank you.
Yours in time
NYSSA