Good evening, ladies. This is the first time I have ventured to speak in your presences, but I have a question that I would like to ask, and I hope it is not too gauche to ask it here. . . I have observed your conversation for many nights, and although you often speak of love and romance (subjects which set my pale cheeks to flaming, like right now), I have also heard you speak of practical matters such as hestia-management.
I am an undergraduate, and I live alone in a town where I try very hard to separate myself from the bongo world. One way I have done that is to refashion my home in a Quirrie vein. I have just acquired a Washing Machine, and I love using it! The corollary to a Washing Machine is a Dryer, but I prefer the less modern version: the Clothesline. But my clothes seem to have a great deal of lint on them after they have line-dryed, and I was wondering if any of the charming ladies, blonde or brunette, in the Cocktail Bar, might know how I can avoid rather dusty-looking clothes. I cannot ask my blonde mommy (I am an orphan), and so I turn to you for help.
I have been a frequent visitor at the barpette since first encountering you here on may 17. I couldn't help but notice your lovely green eyes as I caught your gaze across the room. fleetingly as our eyes met, I felt a shiver through-out my body. oh, my, my, Miss Diezy, what your eyes convey would certainly compel a pette to search her handbag for the petite leetle fan my grandmother bestowed upon me.
Thank Dea you have returned. I have so wanted to gaze into those suggestivley mischievious eyes once again. I have a small bottle of smelling salts in my handbag should I again suffer those strangely wonderful feelings in my body. I do not know the origin of the tinkling, warm, sensations your gaze generates, but I have overheard some of the ladies in the pit talking about such feelings. Oh, is it warm in here to you or is it just me?
Yes, thank you, Miss Diezy, I would love to join you for a drink and a turn on the dance floor when the orchestra plays the next fox-trot. I have purposely reserved my dance card in hopes you might request an oppurtunity to "trip the light fantastic." i do so love the music from the 40's, so many beautiful lyrics of love, I can only dream of ever experiencing the emotions, so urgently wanted and needed, that the songs portray.
Oh, yes the peach schnappes are so wonderfully relaxing, I think I would like another. I shall be here awaiting your return.
Yes, Yes, the wedding is most definitely still on. I admit we had some complications I will attribute to the stresses of being affianced. However I can report that we’ve worked out our differences and have been having the most wonderful time planning the details.
When Patience’s brunette Mother suggested we hire a Maid to play phonograph records on her gramophone instead of hiring an orchestra, citing the savings, Patience was instantly quite Firm and insisted on the orchestra. I was so very Touched. You see, Patience is ever so Practical and Frugal and its just the sort of idea she might come up with on her own. Her only reason for standing up to her Mother is that she knew without asking what I preferred. Ahh, that I should love a bright particular star and think to wed it, she is so above me.
Now if you will excuse me, I shall join my betrothed in the booth. I intend to sit too near for her to concentrate on her novel and softly caress my lips along that lovely ivory ear.
Dear Auntie Effie,
I do apologize for bringing up a problem that you must have heard many times before, but Really, I have no one else to turn to....
I have just stumbled through a magical ordinator screen into certain outposts of Aristasia and am of course dazzled and delighted!
But my ears are getting rather warm from the effects of the paisley turban I hastily wound round my hair, because, oh, dear, I blush so to say it ....
I do not know whether to show myself here as blonde or brunette!
There, it's out. Send me back if you must. But I must behave as an Aristasian and speak the truth, even if that means that the Moment Of Truth must be my *only* moment in Aristasia!
I have often wondered since wandering in, if I might have a brunette brain and blonde heart? I do like using big words, but in a blonde way. Is such a thing possible?
I do wonder ... long ago in the Racinated Times of Ameriqua, there was a fashion of (unworthily named) "Frosted" hair. Quite beautiful when curled nicely. Might that be....?
Or is there a hairdresser near the Bar, and would she know for sure?
Welcome to the realm of sanity and love and fairness and goodness and the true meanings of love and joy. And fear not about asking a question that others have asked, for I am sure that you are not the only one who is confused about being a blonde or a brunette.. Besides, not even the cruellest and most heartless Aristasian, (of whom I have met none) could even THINK of sending you back to the Pit - the whole idea is just too frightening for words!
Aristasia has two sexes - Blondes and Brunettes. Both are as necessary as Sun and Moon, Water and Air, Fire and Earth - and without the two, how do you think we could have beautiful little Aristasian daughters?
Now - brunettes, as you know, are twice as feminine as those poor misguided creatures still trapped out there in the Pit. Brunettes can balance their budget, keep the office running, work out three alternate bus routes when the regular service is cancelled and can go shopping for just a pound of pears and a shoehorn and come home within the hour with just a pound of pears and a shoehorn - sometimes.
Blondes are ever so feminine, can make 50 phone calls without chipping a nail, turn the most ordinary ingredients into a haute-cuisine feast, and when shopping for a pound of pears and a shoehorn will bring home three new pairs of shoes, a new hat, all the gossip from the Cocktail Bar, a horn-backed hairbrush that they borrowed from Suzie and what was it I was supposed to get?
In Aristasia proper, blondes have fair hair and brunettes have dark hair. In Telluria-in-Aristasia, and on women of Aristasia who live within the Pit, all hair colours are possible. So, your suggestion of frosted hair, and the frequent references made to red-heads, really refer to those of us living in Telluria-in-Aristasia. But as to which sex you are, well, there's a little secret an angel told me long ago, which is that you can be both! You see, once you become a part of Aristasia, your soul starts to find the blonde and the brunette traits within. And while these two forces are finding their balance within you, it is quite possible to have both a blonde and a brunette personality in Aristasia. Quite often they live together, or perhaps they've never met. Take for instance, oh - but that would be naming names.
Anxious, I think if you take the turban from your hair and say out loud what you feel in your heart, then that is the sex you will turn out to be.
(Oh, by the way, girls, if you are really desperate and send your letters through the Barpette’s link at the top of the page, I think she might be kind enough to pass them on to me)
Oh, yes, I would love a Pims Cup. Yes, yes with a cucumber slice please. Thank you. Ahh, that is perfection in a glass. I think I'll just rest a spell and listen...
Please, quickly, the best of drinks, something mild and thin with strawberry and rose petals in it, I think, and whipped cream.... Two of them!
Dear Cyrlinge, I do hope I am pronouncing that acceptably, do sit down. I am honored that you have come to me with your wonderful story.
Yes, by all means, rest your head on my shoulder. At such a moment, a young blonde needs someone who's older. A rub-down with a velvet glove....
No, you don't need analyzing, it is not so surprising....
Let me see, I'm rummaging in Mary Margarete's bag, among her poems and knitting needles. Ah, here, such a mess of tangled pastel yarns I'm spilling all over the table. Yes, go ahead and play with them like a kitten, it will soothe your nerves.
Ah, here, some herbs half-dried we are bringing back from Dea's garden over the western sea. Lavendar, rosemary, thyme. Just smell this. Better?
Yes, yes, what you have met is of the Mysteries. And you do right to pray Dea for strength, and be assured She is sending it already.
Some one has described Aristasia as "one long conversation". Well, Aphrodite is rather like that. If you want to catch up on the conversation so far, the Archive is the place to do it.