Author Comment    
Mlle Chantal

Jul 20, 05 - 6:09 PM
Fish Offal

Has anyone encountered the Aristasian term "fish offal"? And what does it mean? Am I right in guessing it just means nonsense, like "horse feathers" or "banana oil"?
Princess Mushroom

Jul 21st, 2005 - 9:02 AM
Re: Fish Offal

No, fish offal is more specific than that. It is actually a metathesis of the word "official" and means, essentially, "bongo official".

It is used by Aristasians who do not grant legitimacy to non-Aristasian "authorities", so, to take a current example, one might say that two girls are officially bonded together (i.e. in Aristasian law) but with the passing of a "domestic partnership act" they could also make it fish-offal.

It can also be used as a noun. "Sorry I'm late - I was delayed by some fish-offal at the customs."

The term is not necessarily particularly disparaging.

And incidentally, a "bottle blonde" is a "queer" blonde who likes men - not one who bleaches her hair.

"Bottle" = "bottle o' beer" = "queer" - but only in the above sense. A "queer blonde" in the sense of one who likes other blondes is not a bottle.

Jul 21st, 2005 - 7:54 PM
Re: Fish Offal

How bad is it to be a ***** blonde? I mean one who likes other blondes?
Isabel Trent

Jul 21st, 2005 - 8:10 PM
Re: Fish Offal

No delicate feminine emotion can be called bad. Practically every blonde has a Special Blonde Friend whom she loves approx. as much as heaven and earth (you know who you are), and it's hardly unknown for a blonde schoolgirl to have a pash for an older blonde who seems the perfect embodiment of the Archetype... extreme blondeness and extreme brunetteness always draw one's eyes and one's heart, no matter one's normal alignment.

But taking one's admiration for another blonde that extra step further isn't very grown-up, or very practical. I mean, if two blondes were to set up house together, how on earth would the roof get fixed or the bills get paid? Most Empire households consist of a blonde and a brunette, whether they're married or not, because each relies upon the other's particular qualities and talents. There is a reason blondes and brunettes are called the complementary sexes, not the opposite sexes. We work well together -- although "work" is not always the right word!
Princess Mushroom

Jul 21st, 2005 - 10:14 PM
Re: Fish Offal

I was about to say much the same thing!

"Queer" in the non-bottle sense is, in the rather un-sexualy-charged atmosphere of Aristasia, mostly a joke. Intimate blonde friendships are normal, and as Cousin Isabel says, two blondes setting up housekeeping would normally be be recipe for disaster. Though if they did it, I am sure no one would take it much amiss.
Miss J xxx

Jul 23rd, 2005 - 12:28 PM
Re: Fish Offal

In regard to the possibility of two blondes setting up house-keeping together;

I should take it very much amiss if they did it anywhere close to me or if they had my telephone number. I should never get anything done if I were to spend my entire life rescuing them from their self-inflicted accidents and disasters, helping them fix and mend everything they broke in the normal course of their blonde existences, chasing from one mall to another since neither of them will be able to drive herself to a mall, rushing round in the middle of the night to remove (safely and humanely) the "enormous" spider from their bath etc., etc., etc..

No, on the whole, I think one blonde to one brunette is about as much as any of us can reasonably be expected to tolerate: fish-offally or otherwise.

Aug 2nd, 2005 - 4:25 PM
Re: Fish Offal

Some Aristasian slang - like guzz, bongo, jinky, groosh or the Yeek - is used every day, and often is so familiar that the Oxford English Dictionary would probably call it "informal" rather than slang, if the OED covered Aristasian things. I suppose there must be a Milchford Aristasian Dictionary in Aristasia Pura - or would that be MAD?

Heeeheeeheeeheee! Oh, I kill me!

Other bits of slang are well-established but fairly rare - like "the old tarry rope" (rhymes to "starry", not "marry"). Some seem to pass away altogether and often suddenly get revived again later.

Does anyone remember people saying "That's very Elemeno"? It meant a thing was peculiar. Why? You may well ask. The simple answer is that Elemeno was short for Elemeno Peekyoo (i.e. L,M,N,O,P,Q) and Peekyou was short for "peculiar".

The complicated answer - well, if there is one, I don't want to hear it.