Author Comment    
Ramona Victoria

Sep 16, 05 - 6:17 AM
To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

I have been reading about the racial division of criminal behavior and the rate of apprehension and punishment of suspects, all based on racial characteristics. What a muddle!

This post isn't about racial characteristics, however--goodness, I know that we don't have any division based on mere race--but I should like to say that the clear Aristasian division of sexes must be such a comfort for a Blonde who most likely, on occasion, needs so much loving attention and discipline when things get confusing. She may get so carried away, and she simply cannot be expected to remember all the rules all the time. Brunettes have such a tremendous responsibility to care for our Blondes, and to nurture and their soft sweetness and innocence.

I am having a Brunette moment of Blonde appreciation, as you can tell. Since we are only Tellurian, and subject to so many strange influences, I hope this little incident of Aristasian sentiment isn't objectionable.

Perhaps you pettes have similar feelings. I'd love to read your thoughts if you'd like to post them. I'd also love to hear what you have to say about Blondes who are out in the world, doing very competent worldly things, since MY Blonde is currently in China,performing wonderfully for work and all; but one worries about one's Blonde when she's off on her own.
Isabel Trent

Sep 16th, 2005 - 6:36 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

I say, Miss Ramona. I'd heard that there were brunettes who actually enjoy blonde company, and don't mutter darkly about the difficulty of enduring it for lengthy periods of time, but I'd never met one till now. May I shake your hand?

Speaking of confused blondes, I've had the most dreadful time lately with the roads around here. Of course I don't drive (that would be asking for not just trouble, but significant carnage) but by blonde standards I'm an expert navigator. But the thing is, as soon as a visiting brunette looks levelly at me and says am I sure this is the right street, well, I go all to pieces and feel incapable of recognising anything short of major landmarks like shopping malls. I had to buy a new handbag just so I could secrete a road map in it against future need. My other bags were too small.

Of course, it doesn't matter awfully much if a blonde gets a brunette lost. The brunette can always find her way out again. It is a great comfort to know she is there to take charge and not to judge! Whereas on the rare occasions when I have lost bongos, they have been pretty sticky about the whole business. Not only do they not understand the blonde brain (no one manages that), they don't even recognise its existence!
Ramona Victoria

Sep 16th, 2005 - 7:27 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Dear Miss Trent,

Take heart! You mustn't judge yourself so harshly about getting confused when driving. Really, just consider your route as the Scenic Route! What Blonde is limited to something as irrational and confusing as "ERT" (Estimated Arrival Time {fundamentally irrational for Blondes}) and "shortest route"? Phhht! Impossible!

I know Blondes can be VERY touchy about "Blondeness", and may not appreciate the beautiful whimsey they bring to things like planning and plotting a driving route.

If there is someone in your automobile who is acting as Navigatrix, well, it's ultimately HER responsibility to get you there, isn't it. Goodness, who would expect a Blonde to drive AND navigate?

And, of course, one understands the Blonde brain. One lives in Telluria. I respect and love the dear, precious Blonde brain, and naturally understatnd that one must take charge when one's Blonde's brain has tried its very best and can go no further!

Brunettes MUST, in truth, be grateful for the lovely variance and unpredictability which Blondes offer a Brunette's plodding pedestrian stability. Which, in turn of course one cannot denegrate. We do, after all is said and done, complement each other, don't we?
Ramona Victoria

Sep 16th, 2005 - 8:04 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

I meant "getting confused when navigating," instead of "driving," of course.

Sorry! Not too mixed-up, I hope.
Umm Jack

Sep 16th, 2005 - 10:24 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Oh Miss Ramona, were you following the links of a certain mean kitty cat? Tee hee. Since your blonde is in the Far East, shall we sketch again?
Cornelia Poetrell

Sep 16th, 2005 - 7:40 PM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Oh, Miss Trent, I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only blonde who doesn't drive! I'm sure I should take out at least two small children a day; the very idea makes me shudder. (And where I live, one is expected to beg, demand, or borrow a car after one's sixteenth birthday, and thus I am regarded as an extra-special sort of freak by the bongos. This Does Not Help Matters.)

And Miss Victoria, let me say, as a blonde, that I am flattered by your words! I look forward to the day when I may have a brunette willing to relish my foibles and offer my life some stability. For instance, I will be moving across the Atlantic next Wednesday, and I think I've lost enough hair over packing and planning and other practical things to knit my cat a coppery sweater! (Especially as I have only my blonde mother to help can imagine the rows we've had.)

On the issue of rows, I wonder if you would be so kind as to give me your opinion. As a blonde raised in Telluria, I find that I often, in the throes of emotion, 'revert' (there is no better word) to a very bossy, snippy, get-the-job-done sort of girl, after which I feel absolutely fagged and out of sorts. I sometimes catch myself doing things (or having to do things) that are strictly un-blonde in nature. I wonder if this may be attributable to the fact that I was not lucky enough to be raised as an Aristasian? If I had been properly disciplined and guided as a youngster, would my 'blondeness' be more finely and gracefully manifested?

(Though I do not blame my blonde mother at all -- she was my only mother, and did her absolute best. Though Tellurian, she had proper, healthy instincts. I did not hear a modern song or read a modern book until I was twelve years of age; before that, aside from my trips to Pit school, I lived a rather sheltered and happy life -- make-believing that I was Arcadian one day, and Kadorian the next!)
Isabel Trent

Sep 16th, 2005 - 8:51 PM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

My dear Miss Poetrell,

The state of un-blondeness to which you refer is known to me, and no doubt to other blondes trying to get along in the Pit. I can be awfully snappish and forceful and take-charge-ish when circumstances call for it -- in other words, when I am among bongos whom I cannot trust to do things properly and to take care of me. Blondes can sometimes do quite surprising things when they have absolutely no one to do said things for them. Why, I travelled to the other side of the world for the first time, utterly alone, when I was fifteen! It is along the lines of mothers lifting wrecked automobiles off their helpless offspring. One either copes somehow -- or sinks.

But of course it is preferable to be always in the company of a proper brunette whom one can trust implicitly to know what is best and to see that it is done. If only there were more such brunettes! Or at the very least, a wider recognition of the existence of the blonde temperament and all its associated blonde needs. We would see fewer spectacles such as your moving across the Atlantic all by yourself, or my living alone for three lovely months and five dreadful ones (don't ask).

And yes, if we had grown up in Aristasia, every aspect of our characters and demeanours would be vastly refined and perfected. Our blondeness would, as you say, be more finely and gracefully manifested; the residual rough edges we must sometimes retain in order to protect ourselves from the wider world would be gone; we would live in the happy state of being able to take for granted that we would be protected and guided and loved. Now, where did I put my handkerchief?

Furthermore, there would be none of this nonsense about blondes and motorcars. I was more or less forced to take several driving lessons when I was sixteen. The local bongos did everything but pick me up bodily and deposit me behind the wheel. The lessons stopped when it became clear that I would never manage to operate one of the confounded contraptions without bursting into tears and demolishing someone's flowerbeds. No, there girls who are designed to drive, and girls who are designed to be driven, and you and I fall into the latter category!
La Fayette

Sep 16th, 2005 - 11:22 PM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Fascinating interpretation ...
I need more blondes in my life too...

mine is in Scotland...studying....
Cornelia Poetrell

Sep 16th, 2005 - 11:54 PM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Miss Trent,

You've said it perfectly -- and very much put my mind at ease. I do not like having to be in control, but alas, sometimes one has no choice.

Your adventures at fifteen sound both thrilling and terrifying! I've only lately developed a taste for solo travel, having spent some time in New York and San Diego.

Driver's education is the absolute worst. The very first time I got behind the wheel, I nearly ran my class right into one of those enormous semi-something trucks! I am quite the cyclist, though. I have an adorable bicycle with fenders over the wheels and a be-ribboned wicker basket, and swoosh all over town upon it. Of course, finding my way home is really a matter of trial and error....

(As is keeping one's skirt down over one's stockings while swooshing.)
Isabel Trent

Sep 17th, 2005 - 4:02 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Dear Miss Poetrell,

Sometimes, indeed, one has no choice but to be in control -- but in Aristasia, one has a choice of how to approach it. It is helpful, for instance, to have a separate persona who does all that sort of business. One's innermost, blondest self can thus remain apart from the phenomenal grubbiness of the Pit and all its doings. But of course, as you observed, it is absolutely exhausting for a girl like you or me to put on such a practical face!

I secretly envy you your bicycle. I have had no more success with those machines than with automobiles. My habit is to wobble ferociously for about a second and a half, then keel over. Or rather, that was my habit in childhood, when the same troublesome people who later tried to get me to drive were attempting to induce me to cycle. Since then I have adopted the wiser course of avoiding bicycles entirely -- a policy sure to be applauded by anyone who has seen me steering a wheelchair (or one of those electric shopping-cart businesses) during my recent foot troubles.

If we don't hear from you for a few days, I shall simply assume that you went bicycling and are still hunting desperately for your domicile! It's that old problem of blondes and maps and silly roads that don't stay where you could have sworn you left them. I have an extremely blonde friend who used to cycle lots and lots at Milchford, and it amazes me that she ever found her way back to her college.
Cornelia Poetrell

Sep 17th, 2005 - 5:03 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Lovely Miss Trent,

I think your advice is quite sound. I've been puzzling lately over how to reconcile the Pitese with which my new textbooks seem to be laden (they've injected glurge philosophy and groosh into museology, even -- ugh) with my burgeoning Aristasian understanding, and I think the idea of 'splitting' is an interesting one. Though, as you say, it will be tiring to keep up the 'Miss Bongo-wrangler Doe' act for long.

As for streets -- I've lived in my particular town for most of my life, and still don't know the names of streets I ride on every day. Luckily, I happen to be rather close to all the places I need to go -- the music shop, the tailor's, the like.

I'm also very sorry to hear you've been unwell! I'm sure I would get nowhere fast in a wheelchair or on one of those scooters, so the fact that you can make them work at all is awfully impressive. I hope you make a speedy recovery!
Ramona Victoria

Sep 18th, 2005 - 4:27 AM
Re: To be Blonde Is To Err, To Be Brunette Is To Adore And Support

Dear Miss Umm Jack,

Hello, dear! What a lovely idea, except that I have decided not to do any sketching presently (but AM working on a drawing at home), so perhaps we could embroider? I have some things I made for you since we last got together. Oh! I also have your copy of The Feminine Universe which I have finished and am sure you will want back. You have been so very, very patient.

My lovely wife will be home tomorrow, but let's get together at some point anyway. We don't need for her to be out of the country, after all.