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Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

The Stocking Question

Well really - you might at least pretend to look the other wayMiss Ivy is, of course absolutely and utterly right. No lady should appear in public (except on a beach or some similar circumstance) sans stockings. Without stockings a lady cannot be regarded as fully dressed. She may sometimes appear without gloves, but never without stockings.The idea of checking whether there are any naked legs at the Cocktail bar is indeed a worthwhile one, and since there are a number of extremely attractive blondes present, this brunette has volunteered to take a discreet glance about the room.

I report that there are none that I can see, although in some cases a closer examination might be desirable.

However I fear that my purely scientific research into this question might be open to misunderstanding. Blondes, being unscientific creatures, can sometimes misunderstand these things, I find.

So instead, I enclose a snapshot of a charming young blonde seen in the countryside enjoying this recent delightful weather. She seems to be having a little difficulty negotiating that stone wall. However, as a result one is left in no doubt as to the fact that she is dressed exactly as a young lady should be.

I post this purely for purposes of research, of course.

With love,


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SPECIAL REPORT: Tellurian News and Analysis for Aristasians


Novarian Games, as we have argued before, give us one area of news and currency that an Aristasian-in-Telluria can actually follow and enjoy. New, pretty, delightful things, unlike the other cultural products of the Pit. Of course, they are not all beautiful, but the ones we follow are. And news is about to reach a crescendo soon with the revelation of the games which will be available for the forthcoming Nintendo Gamecube, hitherto kept under a veil of the strictest and most tantalising secrecy.

Telluria is today on the verge of the Electronic Entertainment Exposition, the largest Novarian Game Show in that world. This year it will be more significant than at any time for years. Not one but two next-generation consoles will be unveiled - The Nintendo Gamecube and Microsoft's X-Box, while the third, the Sony Playstation 2 will try to recover from last year's rather troubled launch. The Exposition will initiate a new round of Console Wars.

A little history: for a long time, Nintendo dominated the world of Novarian games absolutely, with, latterly some strong competition from Sega. During the last decade, however, the Japanese consumer electronics giant Sony launched a machine called the Playstation (ironically originally designed as a Nintendo project, from which Nintendo withdrew). This machine rapidly grew to dominate the market with a new approach aimed at older players and a rather ghastly trendy-bongo image sometimes described as "cool", though I confess it leaves me stone cold. The Sega Saturn was driven off the market and the Nintendo 64 beaten into a very definite second place.

Things were not actually as bad for Nintendo as this may make them sound. The Gamebaby was and is far and away the best-selling console ever with now over 100 million units sold. Aided by the Pokemon phenomenon, the small machine plus Nintendo's many lucrative franchises make the company extremely strong.

The Gamecube's new Trademark? It quite makes our heads spin to look at it too long!Many see the console wars as age-related, with Nintendo dominating the "kiddie market" and Sony capturing the market it has virtually created, the older, more "sophisticated" player. Though in fact Nintendo's "kiddie" games are often far more sophisticated than the supposedly "grown-up" ones and many are universally acknowledged as being the best games ever made.

In fact, Nintendo creates an innocent, Disney-like world, delightful to uncynical people of all ages. Some time ago, Miyamoto-san, the leading creative genius of the company, commented on the "console wars" that Nintendo was not out to win any war. They intended to make the games phenomenon they were best at and let others do whatever they chose. "We are not at war with anyone."

Nonetheless there have been some moves toward "adultifying" Nintendo, notably the release of a game in extremely bad taste featuring a cartoon-like character beloved by players of earlier games. This game includes explicit depiction of bodily functions, bad language and unpleasant violence. A justly disappointed mother described it as being "like Disney releasing pornography". In one scene the player must win the trust of a baby dinosaur who comes to regard her as its mother. She must then lure it into a trap where it will be crushed to death in order to progress to the next level.

Naturally the bongo gaming press has universally hailed this as a Wonderful Step Forward for Nintendo, a breakthrough into the world of Adulthood, a splendid relief from the sickening cuteness etc., etc. For Aristasian scholars it confirms the long-held theory that in bongo-Tellurian the word "Adult" (with a capital A) does not mean the same thing as "adult" in Westrenne, but is a conflation of the two words "adolescent smut".

The game was developed by a company closely associated with Nintendo (but hailing from the awful Yeekay), whose products are always published directly by Nintendo itself. However, in this case Nintendo declined to publish the game in Europe - giving some rather transparent excuse about release schedules and allowing a third party to handle it - and would not even review it in its official magazine Nintendo Power.

Nonetheless it was allowed to slip through the net, though fortunately it appears to be selling poorly.

The problem for Nintendo is this: historically the games industry has not been able to support more than two console makers. Already Sega, the maker of the first next-generation console, the Dreamcast, has dropped out, ceasing manufacture in March and becoming a software company developing for the other platforms. This leaves Nintendo as the only genuine, dedicated games company left in the business.

If the industry can support only two, then Nintendo obviously wants to be one of those two. Ardent Nintendo supporters want Nintendo to win the new console war and regain its ancient position of complete ascendancy: to attract lots of third-party developers, capture the "sophisticated adult" market and generally wipe the floor with the competition.

This correspondent cannot agree. There is very little that I find attractive about the grey-and-grown-up world of Playstation and X-Box/P.C. gaming, and most of what is attractive is also available on Nintendo. I have tried to let myself be tempted by Playstation games, but the only one that really interests me is Final Fantasy IX (and that is for the old Playstation - and the ninth episode in a series of which the first six were on Nintendo machines). Even when the games look magical, they seem usually to lack in actual gameplaying practice that Nintendo magic.

Nintendo has traditionally been quite sniffy about third parties. Its main purpose in life is to deploy its own magical world which is a whole Nintendo world comprising hardware and software.

If Nintendo won hands-down that would inevitably be diluted. Nintendo would become host to the whole world of "adult" bongo gaming. Its "image" would have to change radically. The Wonderful World of Nintendo might continue as a corner of the new, expanded Nintendo world or it might be hopelessly compromised - or should I say adulterated.

Let Nintendo keep to what it is really good at. The Gamebaby-Gamecube alliance will ensure it does not fail. Let Sony continue to dominate the grey-and-grown-up game-world in conjunction with X-Box. Let them fight their "console wars" over that market. Let them solidly trounce Nintendo in that sphere, should Nintendo be unwise enough to enter it.

And let Nintendo, as Miyamoto-san said, continue in its own magical Nintendo-way, at war with no one, because no one can compete with Nintendo at being Nintendo.


Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

Inner Mystery of Gloves

Ahh - today we see the beautiful elegance of either black or white. Tomorrow we may want pink again.Much has been said about gloves recently and the way they add reallness to an outfit and confidence to a girl. One of my favourite references to gloves comes in the Aristasian novel The Feminine Regime. In this scene Lavinia is in great distress because her friend Amanda is about to be taken away from her by her (Amanda's) mother. Nonetheless she is won over by the mother in the first instant of meeting her, owing to her grace and feminine poise. Note how the glove seems to epitomise these qualities:

But she must turn her attention to the lady to whom she was being introduced. What a consummate Mummie. No wonder Amanda loved her so. What a chic, upright, Imperial Mummie ... Lavinia took the outstretched hand, a firm hand encased in the thinnest, softest black leather driving glove, that left one's moist, adolescent hand smelling of fine leather and good scent and grown-up femininity...

Does this not express something of the inner mystery of gloves?

Miss Annalinde


As I was strolling through the park with a friend the other day our conversation turned to the subject of stockings. My friend (who will remain anonymous) maintained that it was thoroughly decent to walk around on a hot summers day bare legged. I maintained that bare leggedness should be confined to either the beach or perhaps ones own garden, but strolling around the town, shopping or anything else calls for stockings. Do other pettes agree with me or are there stockingless legs this evening in the cocktail bar? Perhaps I should ask the management to check for me!



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Kirby Report

Miss Lindie reports on her "testing" (i.e. playing) of Kirby: A game can often look good, but not stand the test of prolonged playing. Kirby Tilt 'n' Tumble is not such a game. I have now completed five worlds of four levels each and find it as compelling as ever. Not content with the remarkable kinetic illusion, Nintendo have packed the game with charming surprises. It is quite a hard game, but Nintendo have that special knack on each level of making you think "I'll never do this" just before you suddenly and gleefully do it. The game may be a little short compared to monster (giggle) experiences like Pokemon - I seem to have filled quite a lot of the map-star - but it certainly provides hours of compelling and very unusual entertainment.

Oh, Alice - you seem to be lost.Alice

Still no sign of Alice in Wonderland for the Gamebaby. The game was given a definite release date in April, but April has come and gone without a trace of Alice. Aristasian Gamers are reported to be frustrated and even, in some (blonde) cases, tearful.

Phantasy Star Online

Remember some time bach the Club showed a purple-haired Shia maiden from Phantasy Star Online? Remember that this game would allow us to played together in Elektraspace, adventuring through a strange world? Now it seems that Nintendo and Sega are working together on a game that may be something like Phantasy Star which will appear on ther Nintendo Game Cube, Aristasia's next Generation console of choice. May we be adventuring together on some very distant planet at some not-too-distant date?

New Things Coming

Very soon - perhaps tomorrow - we shall be hearing for the first time about the Games that will be available for the Game Cube. We shall be telling you something about them, with perhaps some special Aristasian commentary and analysis.


Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

Is it She?

The Picture posted by Miss Lulu is not as clear as it might be, but I should say that it could well be the girl - I mean lady - whom I met in the hotel bar in Sandy Shore. In fact it was the resemblance that first prompted me to tell that story. Of course, I have never seen her in action, so to speak.

Miss Annalinde

District Governesses, Hereditary and Otherwise

Hello. My name is Veleda Carshalton. I am studying Polity and Law at Milchford. I have been enjoying the coversation here and would be glad to help with some of the points raised by Miss Gillian.

Certainly the position of District Governess is not hereditary in most Districts. In fact there are only a few hereditary District Governess posts in the West, though I believe there are more in the East. The District of Westsea is not one of them - the District Governess there is chosen by a body of five Electors. These Electors are indeed hereditary positions, being held by the eldest brunette of five local Raihira families, or in default of a brunette, by the eldest blonde. The Elector may nominate a Proxy or Attorney (usually known as a Vicar) - of either sex - from her own family to fulfill the function for her. These elect both the District Governess and the other main local officials.

The Electors are free (as is usually the case) to choose whomever they consider most suitable for the position. However, in the District of Westsea there is a long-standing tradition that the position should be held by a member of the Calmarian family. This is not law, but the tradition is very strong and is rarely deviated from.

As for blonde District Governesses, local statutes vary, but there is no Imperial Edict prohibiting them. Whether there actually are any I do not know.

Miss Veleda


I should like to ask some questions following Nanny Varden's very kind letter telling us about the District Governess of Westsea. Is the post hereditary? Are all District Governesses in fact hereditary? Can there be a blonde District Governess? And is the picture submitted by Miss Lulu in fact a picture of Miss Serendra Calmarian, District Governess of Westsea?

I hope you do not mind my being so curious, but I am rather new and the subject fascinates me.

Miss Gillian

Gloves and Machines

I saw some time ago a real film in which some one driving a burgundy Bentley was described as "a bit flash". The implication being presumably that the car should have been black - or at least white. This was in Vintesse, whence, of course, Miss Dorothy also hails from.

Umm - do you think it would be  terribly expensive?Possibly this is a rather austere Vintesse upper-class point of view. As with Infra, it often seems that the provinces with the jinkiest reputations can also be the most austere at times.

It may be that some brunettes adhere to these rules, and possibly even some blondes. But I can hardly imagine a blonde in my native Quirinelle who would restrict herself to black or white gloves, or who would forgo the very possibilityof owning a delightful pink automobile.

Miss Kay

Truth Stranger than Fibs

I fear Miss Karen is wrong - and Miss Annalinde not so gullible as she appears to think. The enclosed cutting from The Morning Letter of some two years ago will, I trust make this clear:

The official daily paper of the Empire


Miss Serendra Calmarian was today appointed District Governess for the District of Westsea in the Island Protectorate of Infraquirinelle, comprising North Haven, Sandy Shore, Lesser Canvea and Silcombe. She succeeds her elder sister Maia in the post, Miss Maia Calmarian, as our readers will already be aware, having been selected as Her Quirinelle Majesty's Ministress for Home Affairs in the Protectorate.

The post of District Governess for Westsea has been held by a member of the Calmarian family for over three hundred years, saving a brief period when Miss Lucy Wentworth held the post. Miss Wentworth was related to the Calmarian family by marriage.

The present incumbent cut short her studies at the Temalina brunette finishing school in Trent in order to take up the post and is believed to be the youngest District Governess currently serving in the West.

Undoubtedly the District Governess Miss Annalinde met was my Miss Serendra. Everyone is always surprised how young she is for a D.G., and I confess she does sometimes dress a little colourfully when off duty, and sometimes even when on duty. It has been rumoured that some blondes have misbehaved in order to attract her attention - but believe me, they only do it once.

I am sure Miss Serendra's dress style will settle down as she grows into the post, though I fear she will always be the baby of the family to me, even when she is 150, if I am spared still to be with her then. I am myself 170 already and have been nanny to three generations of Calmarians. I have all the newspaper cuttings in which the Calmarian family appear, of which there are very many. No doubt you are aware that it is one of the most prominent families in the Protectorate.

When I say all cuttings, I mean of course those from the Morning Letter. Nobody serious takes any notice of the silly gossip in that other paper.

Hoping I have set this matter straight,

Amabel Cerise Varden

Piece of String

Of course, Miss Annalinde is very young. Has the possibility occurred to her that her District Governess from Infra was perhaps having her on the proverbial piece of string? From the description it seems entirely possibile that she was a young brunette not long out of school seeking to impress and impressionable young blonde with her claim to be the D.G.

Might this not be the case?


District Governesses the World Over

To be fair, I am not entirely sure that Lulu's picture could not have been a District Governess. When I was in the Island Protectorate of Infraquirinelle I stayed for a time in a place called Sandy Shore - a small seaside resort. It was out of season, but the weather was beautiful, which was really the best time to be there. Anyway, I met this very young and glamorous brunette in a hotel bar there and I confess I was quite swept off my feet by her - I mean she wasn't trying to, she just had that effect on me - you know how it is sometimes. In fact I got the impression she thought me a bit young and was almost humouring me - though really she seemed only a little older than I.

She was wearing a charming infra dress, very short with little gold chains instead of shoulder straps. Quite respectable for Infra, but not exactly - well businesslike or anything. Unless her business was picking up blondes, which, sadly, it did not seem to be. So as we were talking I told her a bit about me, and asked her about herself, and she told me she was the District Governess. I gulped a bit and asked if she had many infractions in Infra and she smiled as one smiles who has heard that sort of joke more times than she really needs to.

Well, I don't suppose she dressed that way for work - but really - she seemed so young and - jinky. So you never know about Lulu's picture. Unlikely things can happen in Infra. Or other places as well, I suppose.

I never saw her again, but the thought did cross my mind of doing something really naughty in Sandy Shore, because she was such a dreamy brunette and the thought of being reprimanded and then spanked by her just made my heart do those famous flip-flops. Have you ever felt like that?

With that neat Arcadian hair, no wonder she always carries a hairbrush!Anyway I was much too frightened to do it really. And in any case I couldn't think of anything really naughty to do. You know how one can't. It is like looking for happiness, isn't it? When you are looking just for happiness you don't find it, but when you are doing something else it just comes sneaking up behind you. It is like that with naughtiness. When you aren't trying to be naughty it seems so easy to slip into doing a naughty thing. But when you think of doing a naughty thing just for the sake of it, nothing comes to mind.

But I digresss. This picture is a District Governess. She is D.G. of the district of Lindenton in Arcadia, though I have heard she comes originally from Infra herself, which is unusual - and it is said the Arcadians have nothing on her for strictness. But then some Infra brunettes are so strict, aren't they? It always surprises one. Blondes too, I believe. I think things are very much one way or the other in Infra. Well, that is my experience, anyway.

This D.G. - Miss Millington, I think her name is -has been known to give impromptu unofficial punishments with her hairbrush. Settling matters out of court, as it were. Unconventional, of course, but it does save fuss, doesn't it?

So am I in the running for that Gold Star?

Miss Annalinde

You most certainly are, Miss Annalinde. Any more entrants?

Machine Art

Hats, gloves and machinesWith all this talk of pink see-through machines, not to mention gloves - not pink see- through gloves - at least, they have not been mentioned though they can be very pretty - well that brings me to my point as a matter of fact. Miss Dorothy in Thoroughly Modern Millie (which we were chatting about a while back) said - of I think a colourful car - "Machines, like gloves, should be either black or white."

Now what do you pet tes think of this doctrine? It would, of course mean that the white Gamebaby would be your only choice, and then what about gloves? Must they be either black or white? In other words, are we hand-in-glove with the delightful Miss Dorothy, or do we think she is talking through her hat?

Miss Karen

The advantage of black gloves or white ones is that they go with just about anything, but this blonde would not like to feel restricted to them, and must confess that she used to own a pair of pink, see through ones . The objection to pink, see-through machines is that they show the rather too-utilitarian innards of the mechanism. I trust that one's hands are not considered in that light. I am afraid there is nothing very utilitarian about my hands, though I did have a try at sewing a while back.

Real Clothes

I had the most lovely day.  I walked to the library dressed all in up-to-date clothing.  I wore a pretty rose print sundress and a light sweater to protect my arms from the sun.  I topped of my outfit with a cartwheel hat and white gloves.  It was a beautiful day and when I closed my eyes I could imagine that there were real motor cars passing me on the streets.  Someone asked me why I was wearing gloves, to which I replied, "I'm a lady.  I wear gloves."  This seemed to answer their question and impress them.

I felt beautiful and confident.  It was as though I had just stepped out of Quirinelle  and at any moment could step back in.  It's amazing how wearing real clothing can make me feel so much better.  I feel protected.  It's as though my little sphere is strong enough to repel the pit.

I just wanted to share this with all of you.  Thank you.


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Something New and Wonderful

How wonderful are the ways of Nintendo! The Gamebaby is near to the end of its long and successful life. Every one is thinking about the wonders which will come to the Gamebaby Advance. And now, of all times, comes something absolutely new and revolutionary for our dear old gamebabies.

Now when other companies say "new and revolutionary", they mean some long-established game format with a few minor twists. When Nintendo says "new and revolutionary" it means something so unusual that no one has ever imagined it or even thought it possible before. And also charming.

A blonde bubble-thing in a remarkable new gameSo what is this new thing? The game is called Kirby Tilt 'n' Tumble. The star is a delightful little pink blob called Kirby - probably named after the charming Infra singer Kathy Kirby who made a delightful poppy version of Doris Day's Secret Love. Anyway, little Kirby is pink enough to be very blonde - and if you sort of wanted one of those pink see-through Gamebaby Advances but could not really live with a piece of see-through machinery your answer also lies here, because Kirby comes on a charming see-through pink cartridge. Incidentally, Kirby is nearly ten years old and has starred in eight nintendo games so far, starting with Kirby's Dream Land.

"Ah yes," you say. "Very delightful, but what is revolutionary about all this?"

The Spooky Castle! - Collect the stars, avoid the ghosts and don't fall over the edge!Really. How impatient you are. Then let me tell you. This see-through pink cartridge does something no other game cartridge has ever done before. It is, as they say, motion-sensitive. It can tell which way you are tilting it. How it does it, I can't imagine, but it really does. This is a game where you have to guide Kirby like a ball through all sorts of mazes and landscapes - and you do it just as if she really were a ball - not by using control buttons but by tilting the gamebaby to angle the surface and control Kirby's rolling. To make her jump you give the Gamebaby a little tap on the underside or flip it sharply upward. It really is the most extraordinary thing, like having a living ball in your Gamebaby.

"Just a gimmick?" you ask. Oh no. This game is made by Nintendo itself. When did Nintendo ever let you down? The game is like those little plastic things where you tip a ball bearing round a maze. But this ball is alive - she encounters all sorts of cartoon-like backgrounds, high pathways where she can fall off into the void, strange enemies, stars to collect, pinball-like bumpers and flippers. In other words, you tilt this ball through a whole world with all the pretty, jolly, and surprising things that dear clever Nintendo can devise. Never does it become dull, for new surprises appear all the time - for example there are times when Kirby must jump into a cloud and float through the air or flip a dice by jumping on it to decide which of two gates will open for her. She can even go up to little signboards and read them to gain hints on how to complete the present section of the game.

How sweet to be a cloudI often draw the parallel between Nintendo and Disney. Here again, if Disney, in the great days, had been able to make a tilt-ball game that incorporated all the prettiness and visual imagination and drama of the classic cartoons - a tilt-ball game that lived in a whole cartoon world, and yet could be held in your hands like a real tilt-ball game - well, that game would be Kirby Tilt 'n' Tumble.

The appearance is just beautiful. The sound is charming, with jolly little tunes delightful noises when you collect stars, extra-time clocks and things and even some speech. Nowhere near as good as the Advance can do, of course (I can't wait to play Princess Peach and hear her talking) but the best on the gamebaby so far - you really do hear pink, fluffy Kirby's little voice. It uses the power of the Gamebaby Colour to the full, so, sadly, Miss Gillian, it won't play on your black-and-white machine. But it will play on the Advance when you get one.

The story is all about a wicked person who steals the stars from the sky and Kirby's attempts to return them, so throughout the game she is collecting stars - mostly red and yellow ones (or are they Gold Stars such as the ones our Blonde Management has taken to awarding?). And - just in case any one was in doubt about the reference to Kathy Kirby - apart from the fact that she finds microphones during the game which allow her to sing and put her enemies to sleep - the star on which the adventure takes place is called Pop Star!

Speaking whereof, dear Blonde Management, can I have a Gold Star for writing nice things about games?

Miss Lindie

You have done excellent work in bringing beautiful games to Girlstown, dear Miss Lindie and your request is under very serious consideration.

Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

Brigadoon again

It is some time, we are glad to say, since Girls' Town disappeared fom its cloudy and turretted place in Elektraspace - however, it did it again this morning, which meant not only were you not able to find us if you tried, but we were not able to pop up this morning's posting. Oh well, here it is now. We hope you were not unduly inconvenienced. Circs beyond our control, as they say.

The Blonde Management

I have found her!

Dear Blonde Management - I do understand that the reason for spanking Miss Lindie is that it would be fun. But it would be fun wouldn't it? So isn't that a perfectly good reason? And she hasn't been spanked, so she still needs to be. I rest my case.

A Very Strict Brunette from InfraAlso - is this a picture of a District Governess? If it is, I claim the Prize!


In the first place, dear enthusiastic Miss Lulu, this is probably not a picture of a District Governess. It looks to me like a very strict young brunette from the island protectorateof Infraquirinelle dispensing well-deserved chastisement to some naughty girl (do you know any naughty girls, Miss Lulu?)

In the second place I do not recall offering a prize for a picture of a District Governess, but now I shall say that the girl who sends me a really good picture of a District Governess shall receive a Gold Star. This one is a good attempt, dear Miss Lulu, but I am afraid the Gold Star cannot be awarded as she is not really a District Governess.

Various Matters

First to Miss Gillian - Oh no! You are not being silly, and it is not because you are new to the system - at least, not if you are anything like me. My thoughts are yours exactly. When I first was given my Gamebaby by a very dear brunette, I was taken aback by the way whole worlds could be visited through this tiny screen on a tiny thing you can hold in your hand or slip into your handbag (though it is better if it has its own little carrying-case). My one was (and is) a colour one and Zelda was one of the things I first played. I spent weeks exploring and adventuring on Koholint Island and meeting the people and animals, and the Wise Owl.

Now, after having it for some two years, Every few days I look at it and marvel afresh that all those wonderful worlds can appear on that dinky little screen - and that they can be held on those tiny cartridges (which, by the bye, will ber even tinier when the Advance comes out). If you are like me, your amazement and delight will only grow. Age cannot wither it nor custom stale its infinite variety. I think that quotation is right. Still there isn't a District Governess yet...

Which brings me to another matter. Little Lulu - may I remind you that if I am unspanked it does not mean that I am in need of a spanking, since the only reason ever adduced for spanking me was that certain persons - certain blonde persons - would find it entertaining.

Do I detect a subtle movement afoot to elect me as the Public Whipping Girl? I note that Blonde Management seems unduly anxious to have this position filled, possibly because she fears that the post will otherwise fall by default to her - as, in my opinion, it very properly should.

Unless, of course, we were to elect young Miss Lulu.

Miss Lindie

Ahem. Blonde Management refrais from passing comment upon these delicate matters. Except to say that we do not think a District Governess spends her time examining quotations we make in everyday conversation for mistakes.

Does she?

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A little world in a box

After all the talk about Gamebabies, I was lucky enough to find a cheap one in a fleem. It is an old one with some old but very nice games. But I didn't want to invest in anything expensive with these new things just round the corner. The very best thing is The Legend of Zelda. But what has really captivated me is the way there is just a whole little world in this tiny box - and such a little, little screen upon which so may things can happen - one can meet so many jolly little friends, travel to wonderful places, and all on this darling, tiny thing. At the moment it is all in black-and-white, but someday it will be colour. Actually I rather like doing the simple thing first and looking forward to the grander one.

But this wonder at having a tiny world before me - do others feel this, or is it just my being silly and new to the thing?

Miss Gillian

Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

District Governess

My! The District Governess in the kino looks very strict. I am sure my mother would approve heartily- she does seem to be under the impression that I spend too much of my time away from my studies and being far too frivolous. But who can blame a girl for being distracted by the exciting things to do here in this town and this bar? However, I do belive that if our Governess were to be as strict as she then there would be many pettes here with very sore bottoms!


Ivy Truro

Unspanked Lindie?

Miss Lindie tells us that she is not a brunette and that she does not wear a sailor suit by way of a school uniform. Therefore, she logically concludes, it cannot have been she that was spanked in the little kino so thoughtfully provided by our Blonde Management for the entertainment of the assembled.

Now - continuing with this train of impeccable logic - may we conclude that Miss Lindie has not been spanked and therefore still needs to be spanked? And if so, what course of action should be pursued?

Miss Lindie's school uniform?A further question arises: if Miss Lindie does not wear a sailor suit by way of a school uniform, may we make so bold as to ask what she does wear by way of a school uniform?

With sisterly concern for Miss Lindie's upbringing,


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Silver Diary (9) and other matters

Now I am not at all sure about this spanking business. I am not a brunette, and I do not wear a sailor suit by way of a school uniform. Therefore it seems unlikely that this kinema which depicts me - I mean someone - in this highly undignified, not to say painful, position has any connexion with this Lindie.

MiltankBut Miss Gillian is right. I must keep you up to date with my silver adventures. I have now been playing for - can you believe it - over fifty-six hours and really never a dull moment. It is the most wonderful game. Actually I have compl,eted it - but then again I haven't. Well, I suppose I am getting ahead of myself so let me tell you what has been happening.

After my delightful visit with the Kimono Sisters I proceeded to Olivine City by the sea. On the way I healed a poor cow that had fallen ill by giving it lots of my berries. The owners were very happy. I aqlso found a cow of my own - well, I am really translating things into Aristasian terms, because it isn't really a cow. It is a creature called a Miltank which looks very much like a cow. In fact one of its powers is Milk Drink, with which it can recover its health or give health to other creatures.

At Olivine city, I heard of another creature that had fallen ill - this time the Ampharos that lights the lighthouse. The leader of the Olivine City Dojo, a sweet blonde called Jasmine was very sad about it and spent her time at the top of the lighthouse nursing it. When I had climbed to the top of the lighthouse she asked me if I could cross the sea to Cianwood City to find medicine for the poor thing. My Mareep is now an Ampharos, and I sympathised greatly.

So, riding on my dear Woopsie I sailed across the sea. I visited the Whirl Islands and there found the great Silver Bird Lugia. And finally I obtained the medicine and returned to Olivine where the poor Ampharos was healed.

I had other adventures on my way to the Final Battle with the Elite Four, after which my faithful creatures were all recorded in the Hall of Fame. I may tell you of some of them later.

HoppipBut now let me tell you about my favourite creature. Do you remember, long ago I caught a thing called a Hoppip? You know how I love grass-type creatures. This little sweetheart is so light that she must grip the ground firmly with her little feet to stop herself blowing away. I adored her so much that I added her to my team. And she was very clever. Although she was so little she would send her opponents to sleep using her Sleep Powder. After a while she grew into a Skiploom, a lovely thing with a flower growing from her head. When the sun comes out the flower opens its petals, and Skiploom floats into the air to get closer to the sun. Not only can she put her opponents to sleep, but her Leech Seed takes their power away and adds it to her own. She became one of my strongest as well as cutest creatures. Finally she transformed into a Jumpluff, a beautiful fluffy thing. She drifts on the seasonal winds and spreads her fluffy spores all over the world to make more offspring.

SkiploomHow jolly the names are Hoppip, the hopping pip, Skiploom, the skipping bloom, Jumpluff, the jumping puff or fluff. Together they make hop, skip and jump!

After my clever creatures helped me to defeat the Elite four and earned their place in the Hall of Fame, the credits scrolled and the game was over - but. If one re-opens the game one finds more new adventures. At the end of the game, one came down a steep mountain path and found oneself back in New Bark Town, the city where the game began. From there - now that one has learned to cross water, one can travel further east until one finds oneself in Kanto.

JumpluffWhere is Kanto? You ask. Well all of this game has taken place in the land of Johto. Kanto is where the previous games, Red, Blue and Yellow, took place. One can only go to the very final part of Kanto, the part which ended the last game - Indigo Plateau and Victory Road, where one finds (in both games) the magnificent Elite Four.

When the game is over, one is returned to Johto, but is given a ticket for the S.S. Aqua, which previously one could not board. Now it is possible to sail back to Kanto and explore the world of the older games, which is both nostalgic and surprising, for some things have changed. Incidentally, you really must play Red, Blue or Yellow before playing Gold, Silver or Crystal, or you will miss much of the point of the story - like reading a book and its sequel in the wrong order. Pokemon is full of delightful "in my end is my beginning" frissons if you have played the two adventures in order.

New adventures await in Kanto, but also we begin to see how cleverly Nintendo interlocks the small system with the big one, for much of the point of this after-game is to train strong and beautiful creatures to take part in Pokemon Stadium on the Nintendo 64, where one will see all one's carefully nurtured creatures in glorious 3D and where their training will stand them in good stead for the Great Arena.

No doubt with the much greater integration of the next-generation systems, this sort of thing will become even more pronounced. Nintendo is creating, I feel, a very complete experience, a form of art unlike anything that has existed before. It is adding a dimension to our consciousness that was not there before, just as Disney did in the first half of the last century. And, miraculously, it is a phenomenon in which we Aristasians can fully take part.


Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

District Governess

Oh, I can't seem to find a picture of a District Governess for you. I shall go on trying - though if I were the District Governess, I think I should tell little Lindie that she must do some more of her Silver Diary, because she can't just keep us in suspense like that, and if one does a job one must do it properly.

I might also spank her, because she is such a cutie and I think spanking her would be quite delightful.

So perhaps it is just as well I am not the District Governess.

Miss Gillian

The chastisement of Miss LindieI don't know if it is just as well. I mean one should not really spank Miss Lindie just because one finds it delightful, should one? But on the other hand, if you did it publicly in the Cocktail Bar it might be awfully entertaining. And we never did manage to get music in the bar. And we could put posters outside. I am sure it would be good for business, and...

Yes. Perhaps it is just as well we haven't a District Governess just yet.

Anyway, here is a rather nice picture - well, a little kinema really - of Lindie being spanked by a very respectable District Governess - or possibly her Aunt Ethelfleda from Vintesse. Probably not a District Governess really, because they aren't supposed to take down one's - ones - well clothes are they?

I hope nobody minds our posting such a dreadful picture.

Still, there isn't a D.G. yet, is there



Forsooth? Hardihood? Can it be that our delightful Blonde Management is archaising when she should be archiving?


Quite enough arch comments from you, young Lulu.


A few small confessions from your dippy Blonde Management. I don't know if any of you noticed, but the "Follow the Conversation Backwards" link since our last archiving, skipped back two archives instead of one. Also we said in our Traditional Archival Address that this was our sixth volume. It is, of course, our fifth.

"Of course", forsooth! You girls didn't know did you? Still perhaps it is just as well a District Governess hasn't been appointed yet - at least until a Public Whipping Girl has.

Speaking whereof - has anyone a nice picture of a District Governess to submit. That might be rather nice. In fact ideal. A picture of a District Governess might have all the tingle without any of the sting don't you think?

Don't you? I mean, while the Public Whipping Girl is only a picture, surely the D.G. should be too. That is only fair.

Anyway, the technical problems have now been rectified and you may unfasten your safety belts.

The Blonde Management

Les Girls, les gants et les chapeauxGloves Revisited - and Adorned

Referring back to the conversation on gloves (I love the way these conversations never end in Girls' Town) I wanted to say how much I agree that gloves are the making of any outfit. With a neat and stylish pair of gloves, even the most everyday jacket and skirt is transformed into something up-to-date and utterly un-bongo. Gloves are not just an item of clothing, they are a statement. They are the number one Pit-killer accessory!

And referring back again (how I love referring back) to the mention of a ring worn over gloves - what of bracelets worn over gloves, as in this delightful picture of three Quirrie magnificats.

The Pit-killer accessoryNow you may say I have departed - as Miss Dors did - from our premise of gloves as everyday wear - reverting to our seemingly insatiable penchant (can a penchant be insatiable?) for long dress gloves. Very well. I append also an example that is daywearesque and practical to a T - or should I say for a tea - and yet as stylish and elegant as can possibly be.

Here it is - a perfectly classic leather glove paired with a chunky Art Deco bracelet - guaranteed to make the simplest jumper and skirt look utterly real and equally chic.

With love,


We are not sure if a penchant can be insatiable, Miss Annalinde - but magnificats - really you take our breath away with your verbal hardihood.

Book Club Seconded

A book club sounds like a wonderful idea. I am always looking for sound books to read. Are there any brunette bluestockings out there who can help us put it together?


Book Club

I had a marvelous thought yesterday evening that a small book club could be started for those pettes who would like to read more and learn about Aristasia. I envisiaged a book club that encompassed both fiction and non-fiction that would improve our knowlegde of Aristasia and many of the ideas that are quite often part of any discussion we have here. Do other pettes think this is a good idea? Perhaps this is a little too much work for the Blonde Management to organise, and I am afraid that I am not very good at the organisation of things although I am always willing to help, maybe it is something that would concern the District Governess.

Warm regards,

Miss Nicola

The idea seems wonderful, though I am not quite sure how it would be organised - organising things is not our long suit either. I am not sure whether it would concern the District Governess. We shall have to ask her when we have one!

Archived Yet Again

So here we are on our sixth volume, and my, those archives are big, aren't they? If we stopped now, our attempt to duplicate the success of the old Coctail Bar would be the most successful since the real thing - though nowhere near as successful as the real thing itself, running as it did to nearly eighty volumes (though I don't think they were quite as big as ours).

But we aren't going to give up now, are we girls? Contributions have been slowing a bit lately, perhaps owing to seasonal fluctuations, so I want you all to send me something soon. Come on girls - pull for the old team!

The Blonde Management

Blonde Management's possibly slightly romanticised idea of a Public Whipping GirlRigorous Correction

I was a little disturbed to read the words: actually blonde management is too disorganised to corect anything very rigorously. How many troubling reflections does this one short piece of text bring to one's mind.

In the first place, are we to asssume that no rigorous correction is to take place in the whole of Girls' Town, leaving all these blondes and brunettes running loose utterly uncorrected. Should there not be a District Governess appointed if the Blonde Management cannot undertake the task.

In the second place, while we are told in the same sentence: though we do try to maintain some standards of orthography. And yet we already appear to have spelled "correct" with a single r. Possibly Blonde Management itself is in need of correction - though I hesitate to suggest how rigorous it should be.

Miss Charlotte

Well now, does anyone wish to apply for the post of District Governess of Girlstown and Environs. If so send your application with some indication of your qualifications to this address. Most humbly do I apologise for the missing r.

But really, I had rather not be the Public Whipping Girl for Girls' Town. Would anyone care to apply for that post?

Our very own magazine - buy it from the Clubhouse


This cat will talk Westrenne one day!After worries that Animal Forest would never leave the Far East, we now have every reason to believe that it is coming. Takashi Tezuka (lead designer) confirmed that Animal Forest localization is taking place for a worldwide audience. This is necessary because the game's real time will need to allow for National Holidays in the West - so when it is Christmas with us, so will it be in Animal Forest.

The player will be able to live in one of four houses, and her close friends or family can inhabit the other three. The things one player does will affect the experience of the others. For example, you may leave a gift in a friend's house which she will find later. This charming "friendship game" for the Nintendo 64, quite like anything that has been done before, is proving successful in Nippon. It was doubted whether Western Audiences with their love of conflict and competition would take to it.

Well, I am sure we shall!

Undoubtedly if the same idea is continued on the New Generation of Nintendo consoles, we shall be able to share such experiences in Elektraspace.

Delightful girls, delightful drinks, delightful conversation

Ise and Ize

Excuse me for asking a silly question, but English is not my mother tongue. In an recent entry I read about an Aristasian drama that it was "tantalising". But in my dictionary words such as tantalizing and mesmerizing are spelled with a z. Did you have an orthographic reform in English recently or is this a specific Aristasian way of spelling?


Both forms are known in both Westrenne and English. In Telluria the "ize" form is sometimes considered to be more American, though it is not really quite as simple as that. A Tellurian spelling checker I have uses has the settings "English U.S.", "English U.K. (ize)" and "English U.K. (ise)". Westrenne tends to favour the "ise" form, possibly because it seems "softer". The Oxford English Dictionary, incidentally, follows strict etymological rules for determining which words should take "ise" and which "ize". This is probably the most technically correct usage, at least in Telluria, but most people use one form or the other universally. The house style of this site is "ise", though we do not rigorously correct our contributors on this matter (actually blonde management is too disorganised to corect anything very rigorously, though we do try to maintain some standards of orthography).

Cocktail Etymology

I looked up the word cocktail in a dictionary I have. It said the word was of uncertain origin, but then - after all - went on with a strange suggestion that the word could somehow be related to the gaily coloured feathers of the cock.

Now, as I see it that is a good example of a bad etymology, and if no better suggestions can be made, I should like to suggest the French word cocotte, which is in common use in most European languages. I do think it is much more likely to be derived from this word. What do you think?


Raisin' Cane

Oh, you very strict blonde. I really do not see why I should be executed for raisin' such an important point.


You are quite right. Capital puns do not merit capital punishment. Perhaps it was I who lost my head.

Eastern Premise

So Much about Royalty and Things Eastern au mome. May I ask a question too? If Princess Peach moved to the East, would she become a Sultana?


Off with your head.

Eastern Promise

I was delighted to read the Fragment from an ancient Aristasian drama. Though small and tantalising, it gave the strongest sensation of that ancient and mysterious world. I do hope we can have more things about the ancient East in Girls' Town. One thing that puzzled me was the word "rani" in the line:

All these things know I well, and it needeth no rani to teach me

In India a Rani is an Empress, though I understand that in Aristasian an empress is a Raihiranya. So what is a rani? Are the two words connected?

Miss Julia

They are probably connected, though not directly. A rani in old Aristasian is a teacher of children, a schoolmistress - it is probably a diminutive form of Ranya, meaning mistress or spiritual teacher which is somewhat equivalent to the Indian guru except that the teaching aspect is not necessarily so prominent as the sense of guide or directress. Thus Raihiranya - Empress - actually means Ranya of the Raihir, or Empire. Sorry we did not mention this when the piece appeared.

Click here to find out more

Princess Peach to serveRoyal Riddles

I have always assumed Her Royal Highness Princess Peach to be a blonde - however in the delightful picture of her evolution it seems she was first a redhead, then a distinctly auburn brunette. I realis a blonde can sometimes have red hair - but auburn? Or is she a Tellurian for whom blondeness is a matter of personality?

With puzzlement,

Miss Gillian

Miss Lindie writes: Princess peach is assuredly a blonde and always has been. Her hair seems to vary from light red to pale lemon - whether from nature or choice we cannot say. But it is true there are some enigmas in A Super-Brunette shot from Princess Daisyher history. In Nippon, she was always called Peach, however in the West there were various changes. In the original Donkey Kong the girl was Pauline - not royal and probably only a distant relation to peach. Once the Princess arrived in the West, she was at first called Princess Toadstool. The name Peach only became fully current in the 3D era. Also there were some games in which the Princess was Daisy, an auburn brunette.

This is not really as confusing as it sounds. We now know that Princess Peach's full name is Princess Peach Toadstool, while in Mario Tennis, The Princesses Peach and Daisy are shown to be two separate characters who can play doubles together or compete with one another. This should not be confusing to an Aristasian. Princess Daisy is Princess Peach's brunette cousin who has at times in true Aristasian Life Theatre tradition enacted the role of her royal relative. She is in fact the ruler of another realm.

Princess Peach with her favourite subject, KinopioBoth girls, though entitled Princess, are in fact rulers in their own right. Another curious fact is that while Princess Pe ach is human in form, her subjects are all Mushroom People, like Kinopio. This raises the question of marriage. It would clearly be impossible for Princess Peach to marry one of her subjects. The anarchic Tellurian argument that royal personages "are just like other people and could marry anybody" would hardly cut much ice in the Mushroom Realm. The Princess must clearly marry another royal personage of her own - um - shape. Since royal marriages are often in the family, her brunette cousin Daisy might even be a possibility, uniting two illustrious realms in time-honoured fashion.

By the way, did you know that the game of Real Tennis is actually Royal Tennis? Isn't that Peachy?

The Evolution of a Princess

How exciting that one will be able to play as Princess Peach in the new Gamebaby Advance game - also one can pull turnips and things out of the ground and throw them at enemies - something I have always wanted to do in real life, but had an uneasy feeling I might get smacked for. Anyway it wouldn't be nearly such fun as the people would not go pop! and turn into floating pink one-up hearts.

The Upbringing of a PrincessIn any case I thought you might be interested in seeing how the Princess has grown over the years, from her earliest digitised renderings on the very first games machines (well not quite the first) to her latest 3D glory on the Nintendo 64.

Now who says technical progress is not of interest to blondes? How would you rather look?

With love,


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